words

One of the things about Stoicism that really resonates with me is the is the importance of self-discipline. Well, that combined with the power of perspective. They’re also two things that I need to work on. I frequently find myself reflecting on situations where I missed an opportunity to be better than I was the time before. An area of self-discipline that has been gnawing at me lately has to do with knowing when to keep my mouth shut. Or even to simply speak less.

“Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue.” — Zeno

Intention is a fine place to start, but it’s not enough. Failing is is too easy. Blabbing on about something that is better left unsaid is easy. Chiming in on a conversation with an opinionated thought, easy. Listening to respond, easy. Soapbox, easy. Hopping on the complaint wagon, very easy (and gross). The hard part comes in that fraction of a second between thought and word-vomit. It’s the flash where self-awareness and self-control need to team up and get you to pump the brakes. Fixing a split second seems hard.

But what if I can go upstream and reduce the times that split second even comes? Afterall, the best way to fix a self-discipline issue is by setting your environment up for success. And so I think. What is going on around me when I don’t overshare or chime in on something for no real reason? And how can I cultivate more of this in my life? What is happening in my world when I get this totally wrong? What do I need to watch out for as a way to anticipate the likelihood of spewing words onto everyone.

Here’s a few observations from when things are going well:

• I carve out time to read throughout the week.

• I have space in my schedule to think.

• I get a good night’s sleep.

• I hike.

Here’s what NOT going well looks like:

• I am drowning in stuff to do, feeling overwhelmed.

• I consume media to disengage my brain.

• I am completely overstimulated.

• I don’t get much sleep.

• I don’t exercise.

• I’m stressed.

Can’t say that any of this is surprising… But it presents me with an opportunity to reset, to start small. I’ll start by going for a walk in the woods. No headphones. No agenda. Just space.